Fortunately for this bulbous fellow, his long-suffering ended quickly enough with his sealed envelope, a handful of words to assure it would reach the right hand, and a single tarnished coin of gold that had likely been in circulation since before the word 'Torment' had ever reached anyones ear; the stamp of the foundry mint nearly worn off completely. His business done, he struggled through thin gaps in the various lines and hastily made his way to slightly less disgusting air, a deep breath inflating his lungs and a relieved expression coming about the countenance of his face.
The body of the letter has been drafted in a heavily diluted variant of the cheapest synthetic ink on the market
To Whom it Concerns
May this letter find you and your family in good health. The heat of summer is upon us already, so I shall spare us both the empty platitudes &c &c. I seek to make, to use the proper High Decusian phrase, that which is de facto into de jure. The property commonly known as 'The Backstage Bistro' has come into my possession and I seek to pre-empt any concerns that may be had by you or any others in your bureau.
The previous owner has decided to go on a lengthy vacation in a rural cabin and transferred ownership of the property to me via verbal agreement. The business is on hard times and has employment of merely a single wench and scarcely any foot-traffic but, as the owner is a friend of ours, I have agreed to take his burden from him dissolve his debts so that he may relax upon his vacation.
You may find me at the above mentioned location. I am certain it is due for a routine inspection at which time we may correct any clerical errors regarding named owners and satisfy any payments needed for processing &c.
- JaHandar Hassanzadeh